Still Attached

I left for college at the beginning of September and the day before I left I hung out with my ex-boyfriend, that night he promised me he would call me on my birthday. Four weeks later on my birthday, do I actually receive a phone call...even a text? of course not. Even though we weren't together, it still hurt because he promised and he was still a friend that I cared a lot about. 
Now flash forward to today, and it's his birthday tomorrow. I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I will contact him. As mean as it sounds, but I want him to feel how I felt when he forgot my birthday. But at the same time, I want to text him and prove to him that I'm better then him. It's stupid because I don't even know why I'm giving this such thought. He didn't give any thought on my birthday, he completely forgot it. Even days later he still didn't remember till I reminded him. Why do I continue to care about this person who constantly treats me like crap? Why do I continue to do this to myself? Why am I still attached? Why can't I just let go?

"At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life"

Disconnected

I feel like I'm not meant to be at school right now, I feel so disconnected from everything happening here. I'm trying to focus but I can't keep my mind off what's happening at home right now. Having your dad in the hospital because of extreme anxiety and your close family friend admitted to the hospital because of cancer is really hard. It's just hard to focus on what's happening here, and continue to do such meaningless tasks compared to lives that I really care about. I know school is important and they want me to stay and succeed here, but it's just hard thinking about what I'm leaving behind right now. I don't like the idea of coming home in April and Carlas face not being there anymore. If we lose her, I don't know what my family will do. I can't go home, so I just need to focus as much as I can and keep them in my prayers.

Waiting...

It's hard to wait around for something you know is going to happen, but you don't know when it will. You get tired of the waiting, hoping, yearning, and you start to settle for less then what you want. You figure that having something is better then nothing, at least for the time being right? But the question is, will settling for less then you deserve just keep pushing what you want, and know will happen, further and further down the road? Are you stopping the progress of what you're waiting for by settling for something you don't really want? It's a tricky cycle. Seeing everyone around you progress doesn't make it any easier. You start to question, what is wrong with me? Why can't I have what they have? When will I get what I was promised? Waiting is hard. It's like watching sand fall through an hourglass, hoping that with each drop of sand, time will move faster.

Quotesssss

I've been kind of obsessed with Pinterest and finding quotes on there.
So here we go, here's my top favorite quotes at the moment.

"If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty."

"You're not over someone until you've stopped checking their Facebook. Don't kid yourself."

"Never love someone who treats you like you're ordinary."

"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling."

"Don't let Satan put a question mark where God has already put a period."

"At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life."

"I will not be any man's half-time, down-time, spare-time, or sometimes. So don't waste my time."

"If the whole world was blind, how many people would you impress?"

"I heard you're a player. Nice to meet you, I'm the coach."